Adulting is Hard : Routine
Adulting is really just self-awareness of your responsibilities but its also so much more
Adulting is behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially accomplishing mundane but necessary tasks. Surprisingly, this term only gained widespread usage on social media in 2008, despite being such a common part of the human experience. Interestingly, in the 1980s, "adulting" was used as a verb associated with adultery. Thankfully, the term has since shifted away from its cheating roots to its more literal and widely understood meaning today.
I want to establish adulting as a legitimate area to write and create from. It encompasses the countless errands and responsibilities many of us now must juggle—often without ever having learned these skills from our parental figures. I’ve developed a deep interest in being a high-functioning adult. The idea of self-sufficiency and maturity might sound boring to some, but for me, confidently making decisions from a place of knowledge and experience is incredibly rewarding.
I’m often surprised when people compliment me on things I see as part of my routine: journaling daily, committing to personal growth, or finding time to read. Comments like, “That’s so cool you do that every day,” or, “That takes a lot of discipline,” make me reflect on the effort I’ve put into building habits. While I know I have a mansion's worth of room for improvement, the one thing that helps me hold it all together is routine.
Routine Poutine!
In today’s corporate work culture, we’re often expected to regulate emotions at home and function like robots at work. Depending on your career path, you’re likely tasked with following procedures, presenting information, or regurgitating numbers from reports. The idea of routine can feel like a trap—a way to push you into the monotonous grind as soon as you wake up.
I get the resistance, but I believe a routine designed to pour into you—your personhood—at the start of each day is essential. It benefits your overall wellness and how you show up in every part of life. I’ve been applying this intentional method of adulting for about five years, and the pandemic revealed its necessity to me.
During the lockdowns, spending 24 hours a day with myself in the same space exposed everything I had been neglecting. My sleep patterns were awful, and I didn’t even realize how long they’d been that way. I wasn’t eating breakfast, stretching, meditating, praying, making to-do lists, reading, or consuming anything enriching to start my day.
Introducing routines into my mornings and nights gave me a sense of control over my life. Most adult responsibilities fall into three categories: mind, body, and spirit—or, more broadly, mental, emotional, physical, and financial well-being. By creating consistency, routines highlight blind spots in your life and make it easier to self-assess and grow. For example, if your routine includes marking a word of the day calendar, the day you forget to update it can prompt immediate reflection: Why did I miss this step? What’s going on with me today?
Here’s my current morning routine:
Pray.
Drink water and water my plants (if applicable).
Take vitamins and supplements.
Make tea—or smoke, depending on the day.
Write my Morning Pages (a journaling practice from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron).
Brush my teeth and start the day.
My routine is simple because I mostly work from home, but it’s still essential. Even if you don’t have to leave the house right away, creating a routine ensures you start your day with purpose.
mini-vlog of when I used to workout to start my day, Chicago 2022
How to Consume Self-Help
Much of the self-help genre today falls on a 50/50 spectrum of extreme biases. For instance, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, written 30 years ago, still feels like a truly universal approach to reconnecting with your inner artist. In contrast, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* by Mark Manson comes across as the perspective of a seemingly well-meaning white man advocating for caring less about things that don’t serve you. While the message has its merits, I believe that, in America, it’s far more revolutionary for men to focus on caring more and giving a f*ck about the things that truly matter—but let me step down from my soapbox.
Manson’s work is reminiscent of early pioneers of the genre, like Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People. Their perspectives often lack an awareness of identity and privilege, which allows them to design their lives with fewer barriers. Thankfully, the self-help category has evolved. There’s been a rise in intersectional, identity-aware works that blend personal stories with actionable practices to promote growth that’s both measurable and tangible.
If you’re looking for more inclusive reads, here are a few recommendations:
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Permission to Come Home: Reclaiming Mental Health as Asian Americans by Jenny Wang
Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness by Pooja Lakshmin
For Brown Girls with Sharp Edges and Tender Hearts by Prisca Dorcas Mojica Rodríguez
Get Good with Money: Ten Simple Steps to Becoming Financially Whole by Tiffany Aliche
You Owe You by Dr. Eric Thomas
Rewriting the Rules by Meg-John Barker
The key is to adapt the advice to your own life. These books present possibilities; it’s up to you to measure their applicability and make them work for you.
The Benefits of Routine
If you’re still skeptical about routines, here are some proven benefits:
Stress Management: Structure reduces decision fatigue and lowers stress. (Source: National Museum)
Improved Sleep: Consistent routines lead to healthier sleep patterns. (Source: Psychology Today)
Enhanced Focus: Regular processes free up mental energy for creativity. (Source: Queen's University)
Healthier Choices: Routine encourages better eating and exercise habits. (Source: National Museum)
Mental Health: Routines alleviate symptoms of conditions like ADHD and insomnia. (Source: Headspace)
How to Start Building a Routine
If you’re ready to build a routine, start by breaking your life into mental, emotional, and physical categories.
Mental: Audit your thoughts upon waking. If your mind feels cluttered, try meditating. If dreams inspire you, write them down to process later.
Emotional: Take a moment to check in with yourself. Journaling or using affirmations can help you process feelings. You might also try intuitive practices like tarot or divination.
Physical: Listen to your body. You don’t need to run six miles or plunge into an ice bath at 4:30 a.m., but consider what your body needs—whether it’s stretching, yoga, or simply hydrating.
Once you’ve identified tasks that align with your needs, please choose a time to commit to them. Start small, and customize your routine to suit your lifestyle. To help you get started, I’ve created a Notion page designed to help you build your ideal routine. It includes a curated list of actions to consider, along with customizable spaces to add your tasks. Staying organized and keeping track of your progress will truly set you apart and make adulting feel less overwhelming. I use Notion for everything—from planning my day to managing big projects—and I can’t recommend it enough. Tap below to access the page and give Notion a try. If you’re ready to start adulting more productively, signing up could be your first step.
Routine - Morning/Evening Tracker
Let’s grow together! Share your routines in the comments or chat section—what works for you and why? I’d love to learn from you and share ideas to help us all become better at this whole adulting thing.
